My Drug of Choice

Life is just a plain ol' conundrum sometimes.  In the words of Forest Gump it truly is a box of chocolates.  Friday we were told that our appointment (location) is changing and we are  being moved back to Ontario - Stratford to be precise.  All of the anxitement (my word - I invented it- anxiety and excitement together - it will change the english language) is ebbing and the blood pressure is returning to normal (whatever that means for an Italian/Irish/French red head).  The boxes have been ordered, the lists are being dreamed up and I am trying to convince the children that Justin Bieber will not be coming to the new church (unless he finds himself out of work and wishes to be the worship leader - he is from Stratford). 

And that is how it happened.  One phone call and my life has changed completely - again.  Am I worried?  Am I frightened like a liberal incumbent who finds themselves out in the cold?  Honestly - no.  But I would like the feeling to come back to my chest.  I will be turning 39 in a couple of months and in my life I have been through some stuff.  Some good, some great, some tragic - like everybody else.  What I have learned though, is that control in life is an illusion.  There is no control in life except perhaps our own reactions - maybe (I did mention that I was Italian/Irish/French and a red head). Our belief that we have control is a trick that we have played on ourselves so that we can sleep at night. I like to sleep.  We all do it - we opiate ourselves with something - action, work, consumerism etc. because if we did not life would be almost unbearable and filled with more paranoia than we already have.  Paranoia is not sickness  itself but happens when we realize the truth and it is too scary. (paranoia is not an illusion - it is an issue that can trap people in their own lives- like a prison. Sometimes it is a symptom of real sickness i.e. Schizophrenia.)

So why am I not scared, or freaked, or really really worried?  With the risk of sounding like a cheesy devotional for soup lovers - it is because my opiate is Christ - he is my drug of choice.  I realize of course that he is far more than just a pill for my insecurities and that the Word of God is more than a crutch so that I can dream at night.   But the reality is that if it were not so I would probably not be able to get out of bed most days, let alone move my entire family across the country again plus two cats.  I like cats - its true.  Do not misunderstand - I still have fears and concerns and worries about a great number of things.  I can be quite neurotic.  But there are just certain things that are so out of my control that my only reasonable and logical choice is to allow God to be who he has promised to be - my friend and so much more.  In my past I have chosen other sources to numb and trick myself into an illusion of control but they pale in comparison, they were always temporary and often left scars on my soul.  Trust me the scars are there. 

This is not a rant to judge or condemn another person's choice or opiate.  It is just the way it is for me.  But like any good drug dealer getting people hooked is always the goal.  So if today you are filled with dread because there is a majority government held by the blue, or you are concerned of the possible retaliation because a notorious criminal has been erased or you just cannot seem to figure out why it is so scary to just walk out the front door and face the world - try my drug of choice. It will bring you to the highest highs without those hard lows. There are no ill side effects and you will not have to consult your physician before using.  Life will still throw its worst at you but the illusion of control will no longer be necessary.

My drug is not an "it". My drug is a "he" and He will not disappoint.

1 Peter 5:7  "Cast all your anxiety on him (Jesus) because he cares for you".